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Table of Contents

1. My Ass is Delicious (kind words from fans)
2. Cover Story (the story of the making of the cover)
3. Sosumi (legal credits)
4. Straight Forward (my introduction and editorial)
5. OCD Infinity (exploring some new names for my zine)
6. A Date with Al Goldstein (my adventures with psychics, convicted felons, impotent diabetic Jews and porn stars)
7. The First Zine Mash-up (combining elements from other pieces to make something that is altogether new)
8. Schwa, Eminem or Nietzsche? (a quiz where you have to guess whether a paraphrased quote is from me, Eminem or Nietzsche)
9. Blatant Stupidity for Dummies (a primer for the almost retarded)
10. Welcome to My World (a fictional story based on my experiences playing the greatest game ever, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
11. Did You Know????? (a collection of random and all-true facts about me)
12. Juli’s Maxi-Rant™ (my wife tears the world a new asshole)
13. Karoshi or, I’ll Burn that Bridge When I Come to It (my life at work, chapter 2 in the biggest trilogy since the Lord of the Rings includes: Shut the Fuck Up and Stop Calling Here, Milton J. Prick, Will You Please Die Now and the Bonaduce Beatdown)
14. Who is Bonaduce? (the backstory of my friendship with Bonaduce, the biggest cocksucker in the world, who gets a good beatdown in Karoshi)
15. I Was A Pimp (strictly speaking, we’re all pimps and whores, depending on the time of day and your position in the world)
16. I Was A Whore (I hope that I am more pimp than whore)
17. Dead to Me (it is always cleansing to settle scores)
18. TT (my quiet remembrance of the Twin Towers, not mentioned anywhere else, not even in the table of contents in the print version)
19. The Dickstein Chronicles (an introduction to my friend John Dickstein
20. The Only Good Job is a Blowjob (John Dickstein’s hilarious and dangerous life, as only he can tell it, and he is the only outside written contributor to NegCap besides my wife, ever)
21. Who Helped with This? (thanking everyone who did something to help)
22. Contractual Obligations (the winners of the contest from the last issue get to plug their own shit)
23. What Can I Buy? (my sales pitch for my other offerings)
24. Back Cover (like a classic book, I pose in an antique chair and smoke a pipe—well, it’s really more of a bong than a pipe, but you get the idea)