The CD itself contains twenty-eight tracks, ranging in time from under 10 seconds to over nine minutes. I have recently remastered the CD, deleted a few tracks and added some news ones. The CD itself is a tour-de-force full of complexity, depth and humor. There are lots of samples wedged in the beginning, middle and end of certain tracks as well as funny reactions from Peter, funny things that I did while reading and embellishments from the printed page. It's also seamlessly edited and sounds just like a CD you might buy in a store. It was recorded, mixed and edited digitally in a program called Pro Tools, which is used to make lots of professional CDs, so if you are familiar with digital recording, this CD was done DDD. It comes with color inserts and label and runs to 79 minutes for just $10 with free shipping.

We recorded more than two hours of material and kept cutting until we had just the best and strongest material, the maximum that will fit on a CD. There's are free MP3 audio samples below.

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Free Samples

In order to sell anything online, you need to give people free samples. This CD is a very unique and interesting project that took months to complete and I still listen to it today because I still find it funny. The CD itself is full to the brim of material and here are some samples from various tracks on the CD with short explanations, all in the popular MP3 format. The samples are mono and a low bit-rate for fast download, but the original tracks are mastered in stereo and sound much better. That’s what you get for free.

Click here to download the Introduction to the CD, which is a track called, “The Right to Remain Silent.” It is the audio from the Cops Uncensored video where a guy is being held face down agains the hot pavement while he berates the cops with threats and profanity. It will give you a sense of what the CD is all about.

Click here to download the Introduction to the story “OCD? NOT ME!” which you can read by clicking here.

Click here to download the OCD? NOT ME! Track called “Kill the Septuplets!” This my Mini-Rant™ on all the cocksuckers who have drug-induced multiple births full of retards who say that it was God’s will. That's a bunch of fucking bullshit and I think someone needs to step in and force these fucking wackos to abort all of them and have their goddamn vaginas sewn shut. Jeez! This is the angriest track on the CD by far.

Click here to download the OCD? NOT ME! Track called “Fecal Bulk,” which is about methods for making your shit more substantial.

Click here to download the OCD? NOT ME! Track called “Piss Take,” where I make fun of everything English in a mean and obnoxious way. I think it’s hilarious.

Click here to download the track called “Frinkiac-7” which is the answer to a trivia question from the quiz Keeping It Hard For An Hour, which you can read by clicking here. It’s a short sample from the Simpsons that always makes me laugh.

Click here to download a short sample from the track “Getting Personal,” which is a parody of a typical boring NPR-type interview done by Peter and me. It was an interview that I wrote for myself to answer but Peter interviewed me for the CD and it was very funny because he laughed where he wasn’t supposed to and I can’t seem to keep in straight either. This question is about who I would kill if I could get away with it and my favorite Spice Girl, a bonus outro by my hero, Brak and a few more questions.

Click here to download the a short clip from “The Lorax by F. Scott Fitzgerald.” This was written as a parody of the writing style of Fitzgerald, telling the story of Dr. Seuss's “The Lorax.” It is a new and interesting interpretation of the classic environmental story that I always loved as a kid. Peter wrote a lot of great background music and created a whole soundscape so the story envelops the listener in a world of imagination. This is the best track on the CD and has been played on radio stations in the US and Canada as a great example of spoken word storytelling.

Peter C. Lopez is my friend and a very talented musician and composer who wrote all the background and incidental music on the CD and he has two complete songs on the CD, both of which you can download now for free, one called “Never Get My Way” and the other one, called “Sweetronic.”

Click here to listen to the introduction and song by the poor Misfit Toys on the Island of Misfit Toys.