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Who Won the Contest?
In some ways I’m proud and in other ways I’m disappointed. Such is life, I suppose. The contest from NC1 is now officially over and here are the answers and the names of the contest winners:
Regarding where the name Negative Capability comes from, no one guessed, so the prize is still mine.
Regarding the owner of the mystery boobs only Jacob Craft and Marc Parker, the biggest douche in the world, guessed correctly. Marc got two floppies full of nudes, some nice, some disturbing, along with a few very expensive asthma inhalers from my personal collection. Jacob walked away with the same floppies as Marc, plus the Bonus Porno Prize Package which included: body Jewelry, a porno movie, a porno magazine, a Cap’n Crunch Koosh, some Tootsie Pops, a Cracker Jack prize and a CD sample of some Broadway show. It turns out that my man Jacob is very young, grows his own mushrooms, collects porno, is in college, is only 17 and he sincerely believes in Jesus. Wacky, right?
No one bothered to guess where the band Ebn-Ozn got their name. I used this question for no good reason and this is what I get.
The meaning of the term “Foo Fighter” was guessed correctly by a few people, including Michael Dittman of Global Mail but he didn’t win. Stephanie Yung of New York City wrote an awesome letter that appears below because she explains it better than I did, and I always defer to people who know more than I do. Unfortunately for her, at the end of her letter she went one step too far and confused what foo fighters were with the people who chased the foo fighters. A Foo Fighter is a UFO, not a plane that chases UFOs. I really wanted her to win, I admire her letter and think she’s a cool person, but she just went too far. After some discussion, my wife convinced me that Stephanie had made a valiant effort and deserved some kind of prize, so I sent her five CDs anyway. I decided that the official winner of the contest is Harry Eagar of Hawaii who is now the proud owner of: eels, Beautiful Freak; Porno for Pyros, Good God’s Urge; Fluoroscein, High Contrast Comedown; Space, Spiders; the Nowhere soundtrack; some Tootsie Pops and a prize from Cracker Jack. The reason that Harry won was because he also gave a reasonable explanation of the name and the origin of the phenomenon. In addition, I would like to say that Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters was a recent guest on the Howard Stern Show and, as many other fans will agree, once someone is cool to King Howie, they are cool with me. Chevy Chase, Mark & Brian, Rush “Pumpkinhead” Limbaugh, Frank & Kathie Lee Gifford, Charles Grodin, James Garner and many others will always be assholes, ‘cause they’re assholes about Howie. So, I like the Foo Fighters, I think Dave is a cool guy, a talented musician, a sincere human being, and, if you ask me, more interesting, funny and intelligent than what’s-his-blew-out-his-brains.
My older brother Ben was the only person to take a guess at who the voice of the Great Gazoo was, and he got it right. Sure, he has hours to search online for trivial information, but I want to single him out for praise because he actually made an effort and found the answer. He was also the first person to sign up for a subscription, the only person to actually do some incredibly great work to help me have a web page, and kind and generous enough to loan me his scanner when I called and said, “I know I’m a selfish prick, but I have this dumb idea to do a zine and I can’t afford to go to Kinko’s and rent one because I’m fucking unemployed.” So, I would like to dedicate this contest and this entire issue to my brother, Benjamin Erik, for making this whole thing possible. He’s going to get the prize [a Winnie the Pooh video, some cow & Pooh stickers, some weird rubber stamps and of course, the teddy bear kit] even though he entered by e-mail, because no one else even guessed.
I also asked which of my cover songs was made up, but no one got it right. I guess it was a little too hard, so I will tell you that it was Breeders - “Blackbird” (Beatles). I thought it might be obvious with the B, B, B (as in Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!) but that didn’t help. I’d also like to single out Howard Miller of the excellent zine Travelling Shoes because he gave two guesses that I hadn’t even thought were good ones until I thought about it. He suggested that Too Much Joy - “That’s A Lie!” (LL Cool J) and Vic Chestnutt - “She Doesn’t Exist” (Robyn Hitchcock) were made up because of the titles! That is fucking impressive! I also want you to check out my covers CD or my covers tape,which are available in trade for a CD or tape of your favorite covers!
Finally, the last question concerned a comedy featuring Cancer Man from The X-Files as an ob/gyn. No one guessed, so that prize will became part of the prize package for the next contest.
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